SANTA AND FRUITCAKE

 

If your presents were a little late this might be the reason. He put a mighty dent in that fruitcake. Poor Rudolph. Fog doesn't stop him, can't fight the sugar high.

YOUR CAT

 

This meme is only partly true. Perhaps that cat was surrendered to a rescue because its human could no longer take care of their pet. People get old. They get sick. They get allergic, part of how I ended up with Midge again. Mom loved her, hated to give her up even though she was coming to me and I phoned her pretty much every day with kitty stories. Of course the pet doesn't know what happened or why. Thank heavens there are a lot more rescues out there than there were even ten years ago. I guess it's the almost self riteous attitude that bugs me. Here's hopig  you don't end up having to surrender this cat because of events that you can't control. 

i CAN'T SAY IT BETTER

 

I tried to come up with an entry to go with what he said. I can't. At least not today. 

A SOLSTICE LITANY FOR WINTER

 Heck with variations it works for summer too. From The Winter Solstice by John Matthews. I suspect Caitlin Matthews wrote the original litany

Stonehenge and the sun

For the return of the sun – Blessings and Peace

For the gifts we give…and receive – Blessings and Peace

For all the gift givers – Blessings and Peace

For the Children of Wonder – Blessings and Peace

For the children everywhere – Blessings and Peace

For sunsets and starlight – Blessings and Peace

For sunlight and moonlight – Blessings and Peace

For streams rippling under the winter’s ice – Blessings and Peace

For raging torrents rushing to the sea – Blessings and Peace

For rain and rainbows – Blessings and Peace

For the warmth of fire in the cold of winter – Blessings and Peace

For the trees on the hill – Blessings and Peace

For the tree in the corner – Blessings and Peace

For the candles in the window – Blessings and Peace

For the gifts of friendship – Blessings and Peace

For Bards and their gifts of poetry – Blessings and Peace

For Singers and the music they share – Blessings and Peace

For the prayers for peace – Blessings and Peace

For those who pray for peace where there is no peace – Blessing and Peace

The authors encourage you to adapt to include whatever you’re thankful for right now. I certainly did. The Matthew's have a soft spot for hand bell ringers, good food and that vital necessity. Good cooks. 

CHRISTMAS CHAOS

 This original story did not happen at Christmas. But it is way funny. And now picture everythng happening with Christmas decorations thrown in as everyone, including the cats, enters total chaos. 

You are in the kitchen, bottle of half frozen fizzy wine in hand ready to pull the cork when you hear the commotion in the other room. Still carrying the bottle you rush out to check. Distance and angle are just right when the cork shoots out of the bottle, followed by the stream of ice cold, semi frozen liquid to hit the fuzz ball on the top of the tipping tree. Total chaos. Cats, tree, ornaments, the angel, strings of lights flying everywhere. With luck you might get the war zone cleaned up by Christmas Eve. With a lot of luck. Chocolate is my go to for after disaster solace. In this case a LOT of chocolate. 

And a differnt Christmas chaos courtesy of Simon's Cats. Imagine that wine hitting the cat at the top of the tree.

Bugs and The Great Wine Explosion

By Franny Syufy

It all started soooo innocently...
DH and I were strolling down memory lane decided to revist our ill-spent youth by buying a bottle of Asti Spumonte, a sparkling wine that sort of tastes like apples. We wanted it for dinner and DH decided to put it in the freezer...where we promptly forgot about it.

When we got it out of the freezer, it looked pretty frozen. For reasons that can only be described as male, DH decided it to open the bottle just as Bugs, with his back turned to him, decided to eat some kibble half a kitchen away. Before I could yell, "Contents under pressure, you idiot!" DH popped the cork.

Which flew. Across the room. Hitting Bugs on the butt. With considerable force. He levitated four feet vertically into the air — just in time to meet the stream of Asti Spumonte ice winging its way through the air. Mid-air collision: cat, half-frozen wine, DH trying to save cat.

Howls. From Bugs and DH, who catches Bugs, claws first, because they are now fully extended and working with piston-like energy in full getaway mode because DH has the bottle, which is making splurting noises and foaming in an alarming manner, in the other hand . Bugs uses DH's chest as a launching pad and races off in blind panic through the livingroom, showering flecks of wine ice everywhere he goes.

And where does he take cover? In our bed of course, under the duvet, rolling wildly to get the nasty-smelling cold stuff OFF his back. Which meant, of course, that he had to have a bath, because not only is he sticky, but we're concerned that wine just can't be good for brown cats. Although Tum, whom we caught lapping at the pool of melted wine in the kitchen, clearly did not agree, given the protest he made when we locked him downstairs for the duration of clean-up.

Anyways, Bugs, wet and completely disgusted, has banished us to the bench for a prolonged time-out with prejudice. Anybody like a glass of winecicle?

- drunementon

Franny's Note: "the bench" refers to the "Mean Mommy Bench," aka MMB, where forum members are relegated for acts cruel and inhumane toward cats. You'll find one or more of us huddled there at any given time, sharing hot cocoa, ice tea, or wine, depending on the season and our degree of remorse.

IS ANYONE LISTENING/

 Ok I'm overdoing a little today. OK maybe a lot. But you manage to get on a roll these days you got with it. It's been awhile since I made our own Christmas cards. And I did it on a Mac. Not exactly compatible with a PC about two decades older than the long gone Blueberry IMac. 

So, I'm not sure if I paired Do You Hear What I Hear with this card front. If I did it was before I learned the story behind the Carol. When you reach a certain age, the sparkly lights and tinsel don't sparkle quite the sparkle theway they used to. And I believe I will stop right there. I believe a cat petting session is due right about now since I don't drink. (sometimes I wish I did)

DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR

Said the night wind to the little lamb,
Do you see what I see
Way up in the sky, little lamb,
Do you see what I see
A star, a star, dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
Do you hear what I hear
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy,
Do you hear what I hear.
A song, a song, high above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea.

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know
In your palace warm, mighty king,
Do you know what I know
A Child, a Child shivers in the cold
Let us bring Him silver and gold
Let us bring Him silver and gold

Said the king to the people everywhere,
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace, people everywhere!
Listen to what I say
The Child, the Child, sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

The piece was written by Noel Regney and his wife Gloria Shayne in 1962. 1962, the same year as the Cuban Missile Crisis. I’m not sure how close we actually came to pushing that first and final button but this carol was their answer. A plaintive call for peace. If those missiles had been launched there would have been no one left for the night winds to tell their secrets to. The trees would have been charred skeletons. Branches lifted to ash filled skies in final a futile prayer for their lives. The songs of seabirds and waves silenced. All that would have been left were the stars shining down on a world with no one from kings to shepherd boys left to see them.

NOT YOUR CHRISTMAS CARD

 

Raised by parents described as pacifists, the story is that his mother cried when he left for West Point. Just about the only way a smart young man from a farm family could get a college education. Honestly, outside of Jimmy Carter, the last president who really "got it." Imagine the reaction if you put this on the front of your Christmas cards.